"The world is too much with us; late and soon, Getting and spending [nay, scrolling and liking], we lay waste our powers;— Little we see in Nature that is ours; We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon! This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon; The winds that will be howling at all hours, And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers; For this, for everything, we are out of tune; It moves us not...." William Wordsworth
There's a slow intoxicating draw that feels like curiosity mixed with comfort. I spend time feeling elated, encouraged, angered, insecure, anxious, informed, over-informed, entertained, connected, lonely, and ultimately self-defeated. I do this over and over, and in time find myself exhausted, numbed, and distant from my true self and the things that I really love: time with my people, time in nature, time making a difference, solitude, reflection, worship. For me, that's my social media ride. I'd like to say I'm not addicted, but according to the Addiction Centre, it's likely that I am or will soon become so.
I know I'm not alone in this although it feels really vulnerable to type it here. The truth of the matter is, I know I've got to make some changes before more of the hours of my life are spent in front of a screen than in front of a sunset, a frost covered meadow, or the wide eyes of a child of mine. This isn't about shame or guilt, this is about choosing a better way forward for me. The truth is, I take better care of my kids in this regard than I do of myself.
I read this book a while ago called "The Tech-Wise Family" by Andy Crouch. I give it as many stars as possible, and then add a few more. It's a practical guide on how to keep technology in its proper place. For me that means Facebook, for my kids that means Minecraft, for others it may mean Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, endless google searches, news headline scrolling, games, net flicks, or anything else in front of a screen. The point is, there is life to be lived apart from our screens, and I'm missing too much of it. That's the ugly truth.
From within this book, Victor and I have come up with a bit of a Technology Manifesto for our home, and we will be introducing it to our little tribe here tomorrow. Even though this Manifesto is not in the book verbatim, I give credit to the author Andy Crouch, because the ideas in it are from him or inspired by reading his work. Get the book! If it can help any of you in any way then we've made something positive out of something that we've let get out of control in our lives. Here's to a new chapter of healthy screen time boundaries starting with us as parents and role models.
Here is our Manifesto:
In our home, TECHNOLOGY:
has a PURPOSE.
Ask: “Am I using this time to…”
communicate and build relationships
research or educate on meaningful matters
entertain within set limits (not aimlessly or alone)
has a TIME and a PLACE.
Ask: “Is this screen time/device becoming more important than God, people/relationships, or sleep?”
We set healthy boundaries: Screens are not accessible everywhere, or all the time. They are not in bedrooms, used during meals, or with company present. We turn off our notifications when we are with our people (if its an emergency, they will call!)
We establish good rhythms: Devices go to bed (1 hour) before we do, wake up (1 hour) after we do, and rest for 1 hour/day, 1 day/week, and 1 week/year.
is SAFE.
Is never used in secret
Passwords are shared
Usage and site history are traceable
When we see something that concerns us we tell a parent/partner
We do not answer ads or talk to strangers on-line
BOTTOM LINES: WE CONTROL OUR TECHNOLOGY, IT DOES NOT CONTROL US. PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS MORE IMPORTANT THAN SCREENS.
Please post in the comments below if you have practices in your home or personal life that help you keep technology from taking over.